2024 Teaching

Father, we thank You for Jan 7, Feb 7, and Mar 7 to today, Dec 7. Thank You for health, food, money, clothes, shelter, and life generally. Be exalted on our thanksgiving. Please take the floor tonight. Show us a new You, a fresh insight, another perspective to guide us into becoming a better-molded version of ourselves than we used to be, crafted after the image of Jesus. Amen?

Topic - Cultivating Gratitude in Family Dynamics 

Our seasoned guest took us in a detailed fashion on Family Dynamics in August this year. I would like us to go through it again although that was related to parenting. And so, against that background, I will be talking about Cultivating Gratitude. 

Gratitude is an expression of appreciation for something good given or done to one. I want to believe it’s in this generation we can relate to that. Some of us grew up in a family setting where when the “lion” of the house is coming, even from 2 streets away, all the children reset to good behavior, I want to believe cannot recall ever hearing “thank you” from the lion himself. I want to believe so. You know those typical African home types… If you now grew up in a military home or barracks, just forget it. It will be alien to hear them thank you. I would love to ask - when these same parents call someone to come do some jobs in the house, they pay them and still say thank you o. So why won’t he say thank you to the Lioness? Or the baby lions when they do something good to him? 

The question will now be - does saying thank you to your children and spouse mean you are weak or unmanly? I am here to say that showing gratitude is a culture we need to embody in whatever family dynamics we operate.  

Richard Templar said, each time someone does something good to us, we should respond with “thank you.” 

Ranging from asking for the remote control, to “pass me my phone please” to “go and buy me…” Say, thank you after it’s done. I guess it is easy to thank someone for what the person does to you which you are incapable of doing, but do we thank the person even if what is done to you is your right?     

Married men, gather here, it’s your turn - do you thank your wife after you have sex with her? Or is being thankful the duty of the wife alone as per say you’re the head of the house?              

Showing gratitude should not be limited to incapabilities alone. It should be a lifestyle reciprocation for every good thing done or given to us.   

I remember those days when those mothers were accused of not thanking the child for helping to buy something on the way back, one said, “Ehn, is it not my money that she used to buy it?” Does that matter? What do we say to that?                                                                        

Gratitude is mostly known or taken as verbal but it’s not limited to just the words even though that is important too. There is another side of it that we will take next week when we discuss The Art of Recognizing and Celebrating Family Achievements. Please be here.

 Luke 17:11-19 - Jesus, being fully human, healed 10 lepers and he was moved that only one returned to say thank you, and the guy was not a Jew, he was called a foreigner. 

Do you exhibit greedy gratitude - appreciation as a tactics to get more or to make more demands? If there is anyone who thanked God so much, far more than others in the Bible, it is easy to remember David. He said: Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him and bless his name. —Psalms 100:4 

When he made that grave error with Bathsheba and God struck the child, he fasted and prayed that God should keep the boy’s life but the child died. The Bible says when he learned of his death, he went into the temple and worshipped God.

 How do we import this in a human family setting? This is task 2 for us. In some families, gratitude seems like first nature not even second nature. There is that fluidity amongst them.  From our lesson about family dynamics, some family settings can struggle with being grateful if at all. Some will be so robotic or mechanical about it, take for instance, Eugene’s family unlike Ifeoma’s family (in the book, Purple Hibiscus, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie). By the way, Eugene and Ifeoma grew up together with the same parents. The point is - that gratitude to God and also to one another should be shown, nurtured, and encouraged in the family in a way that makes it interesting, and enjoyable to do and this task rests solely on the parents as they begin to raise children. 

I pray God helps us all. 

Father, we thank You for a beautiful evening, the gift of life, and the privilege to hear from You again this weekend. Take all glory in Jesus’ name. Father, please speak to us in a new way as we get set to hear from You. Power Your word with the word of Your power. Fill all souls anew. In the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen

Topic - Crisis and Faith

A crisis is defined as. A time of intense difficulty or danger. ⁠A time when a difficult or important decision must be made. Simply put - a difficult or terrible period in the life of an individual or a people is called crisis. 

If we live long enough, we all will face many crises, at times more than one around same time. It could be a health crisis, financial crisis, career crisis, marital crisis, spiritual, etc. Many times we see that some of these are interwoven, one difficult situation encroaching on or affecting other areas.              

I will take a central position on this topic and hope we glean from it to treat every other area needed. Let me give an example of a crisis. This is from one of the highly respected servants of God who enjoyed exceptional testimonies in his walk with God. Psalms 23:1-4 - The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. *Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.* (KJV)

For someone who has been hearing God, seeing God, and enjoying God to suddenly find himself in the valley of the shadow of death is a troubling thing. What happened? Bear in mind that catastrophe, cataclysm, difficulty, plight, calamity, disaster, hell on earth, hot water, hardship, dilemma, or simply put, trouble are all synonyms of crisis. Our comrade experienced this phase of crisis when he said, “…Even though I walk through the valley *and shadow of death*, I will fear no evil…” Shadow of death - a mimic of death, something that looks like death, an experience that can be tagged an example of death.

First, we are supposed to be on to the mountaintop or as eagles soaring high in victory above storms including emotionally but here we are at this point *in the valley.* The disappointment and grief are enough to tug on the soul but then, it appears there is a lot of bombardment that we have to *“walk through”* and not fly over this valley, like walking through waters, while trying to stay alive.

There is great grief within, there are many troubles (crises) without. As if that is not enough, then we pass through a phase like death. I suddenly understood that deep depression is a shadow of death - nothing in reality makes sense to you no matter how dignifying, covetable, or meaningful it is. A person in deep depression is unperturbed about what goes on around him/her, goes through the day/life as if dead and just looks forward to life beyond this realm.

As I found out in some cases, having a better job, family, children, prospects of a higher degree, other material acquisition, and even the unfulfilled promises of God as heavy and mighty as they are, are not enough to make them want to stay. This mortal injury to the soul is just too deep. We know that life is not all smooth but to think that someone who kept mentioning God, seeing Him all around from verse 1 of Psalms 23 will suddenly become deeply depressed is just unimaginable, unexpected. While following God, one can be deeply depressed. A prolonged state of sad emotions with no definite date of expiration and no set method to come out of it? The crisis is falling upon crisis.

To heat the fire seven times over, he then said, *“…thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.”* You would think running to God at such a time would mean He will pamper you in the strictest sense of the word “pamper.” You would expect to get a deep warm embrace, checking you all over out of care and love to make sure you are okay, kissing you like a father to his daughter he almost lost to death, giving you a special treat right there, tending to the wounds with a softness more than the wool’s and so on. But no, He uses the cane on you and it is meant to comfort you.

That’s one half of the plan to cheer you up, the other half being a medal of honor (staff) but flogging has to come first. Flogging me when deeply depressed? How is that any form of care?

We all know that when God flogs, it’s not a good experience but He does it for our good. When God flogs you, you will have a scar, when man flogs you, you will see it too but all things work together for good if you love God through it all. When God wants to show a side of Him that you are not familiar with, you have a crisis. When He wants to mature you, He throws you into crisis.  Many times we discover that our experience doesn’t align with what God has told us. We reel in the trouble, the burning is terrible and we call it crisis but He smiles. Do you know why? God works from the end to the beginning, we only see the present as we go into the future. He knows that that trouble will produce glory for us if we allow Him.  

So what do we do? This is where faith is important. He that cometh to God must first believe that He is… and that He is a rewarder of them who diligently seek him. Without faith, it is impossible to please God. Heb 11:6. You must believe that God is - that He is present with you even when you can no longer hear or see Him as expressed by David. You must believe that He is not only King of kings but also King over every crisis.     

Genesis 1:2 - And the earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

God is still in charge even when the difficult situation gets worse. So hold on to your faith in God and in the word He has given you even when it no longer makes sense. Don’t make decisions if you have not heard from Him. Don’t be pressured into doing what you’re not sure He approves no matter how ethically right and humanly sensible it is. This is especially important when you need to take a decision or action and God is silent. This silence can be deafening and worse to bear. 

Stay still. Continue the work given to you to do or in the word He told you until He says otherwise no matter how long time goes. Be sure however that you are waiting on Him correctly in the crisis.  Allow God. Even if you caused the crisis for yourself through disobedience, stubbornness, wrongful living, at the point you repented and repercussions bombard you or life just takes some unprecedented swing on you, just allow God. Rest.

Get a companion. This is someone who connects to your heart, can provide spiritual and intelligent counsel, and pray with you. We all need the strength of another person to move on at some point in our lives. Let God guide you to one and don’t mess it up with fleshly cravings - greed, lust, deceit, etc.

Lastly, keep praying even if the words don’t come out. Let your heart stay on God even when you don’t see Him. He is alive and greater than all the troubles. Be of good cheer, Jesus said, I have overcome the world. You will come out better and stronger. You will share your testimony to encourage generations. Don’t die till God is ready to take you home. Cheers!

Father Lord Jesus, we thank you for this day. We pray that you will inspire us and bless us through your word. Both the readers and the minister will tap something great tonight that will make our future, family better and brighter for your glory. Thank you Jesus for an answered prayer. For in Jesus' Name, we’ve prayed.

Our topic tonight is Parenting Challenges in the Christian Context

Let read from the scriptures: Genesis 27:1-10 “When Isaac was old and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see, he called for Esau his older son and said to him, “My son.” “Here I am,” he answered. Isaac said, “I am now an old man and don’t know the day of my death. Now then, get your equipment—your quiver and bow—and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me. Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat, so that I may give you my blessing before I die.” Now Rebekah was listening as Isaac spoke to his son Esau. When Esau left for the open country to hunt game and bring it back, Rebekah said to her son Jacob, “Look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau, ‘Bring me some game and prepare me some tasty food to eat, so that I may give you my blessing in the presence of the Lord before I die.’ Now, my son, listen carefully and do what I tell you: Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he likes it. Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies.” Genesis‬ ‭27‬:‭1‬-‭10‬ ‭NIV

We are going to narrow the topic to a *Guide to godly parenting using Isaac and Rebekah as a case study* You will learn from Isaac and Rebekah, the biblical figures in Genesis 27, who demonstrated some parenting principles. Their story highlights successes and failures, offering valuable lessons.

1. How can parents balance showing love and setting boundaries?

2. What are effective ways to teach children about God's promises?

3. How can parents model humility and servant leadership?

These are effective questions that will guide us not to be guilty of wrong parenting.

“Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The Lord answered his prayer and his wife Rebekah became pregnant.” Genesis‬ ‭25‬:‭21‬ ‭NIV *Providing a valuable lesson and practicable  Principles:*

1. Prayerful Parenting: Isaac and Rebekah prayed for children (Genesis 25:21). Teach your children the importance of prayer. “Now there was a famine in the land—besides the previous famine in Abraham’s time—and Isaac went to Abimelek king of the Philistines in Gerar. The Lord appeared to Isaac and said, “Do not go down to Egypt; live in the land where I tell you to live. Stay in this land for a while, and I will be with you and will bless you. For to you and your descendants, I will give all these lands and will confirm the oath I swore to your father Abraham. I will make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and will give them all these lands, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because Abraham obeyed me and did everything I required of him, keeping my commands, my decrees, and my instructions.”‭‭Genesis‬ ‭26‬:‭1‬-‭5‬ ‭NIV

2. Faithful Example: There is no way to reach the desired heights of having a fulfilling glorious family without your faithfulness to God’s leadership and instruction. Isaac followed God's promise (Genesis 26:2-5). This gesture is a model of faithfulness to the children. “Now Rebekah was listening as Isaac spoke to his son Esau. When Esau left for the open country to hunt game and bring it back, Rebekah said to her son Jacob, “Look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau, ‘Bring me some game and prepare me some tasty food to eat, so that I may give you my blessing in the presence of the Lord before I die.’ Now, my son, listen carefully and do what I tell you: Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he likes it. Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies.” Genesis‬ ‭27‬:‭5‬-‭10‬ ‭NIV

3. Discipline and Correction: Rebekah and Jacob instructed their children (Genesis 27:5-10). Here we need to use the right wisdom and discernment when correcting children. If not that step could mislead them to miss their desired fulfillment of destiny. It took grace to get over that step Rebecca took. “Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.” Genesis‬ ‭25‬:‭28‬ ‭NIV

4. Unconditional Love: Isaac loved Esau, and Rebecca loved Jacob despite this resulting in their flaws (Genesis 25:28). Show unconditional love to your children equally. “Now then, my son, do what I say: Flee at once to my brother Laban in Harran. Stay with him for a while until your brother’s fury subsides. When your brother is no longer angry with you and forgets what you did to him, I’ll send word for you to come back from there. Why should I lose both of you in one day?” Then Rebekah said to Isaac, “I’m disgusted with living because of these Hittite women. If Jacob takes a wife from among the women of this land, from Hittite women like these, my life will not be worth living.” Genesis‬ ‭27‬:‭43‬-‭46‬ ‭NIV

5. Guidance and Direction: Rebekah guided Jacob. Guide while allowing children to make choices. Colossians 3:21: "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."

Parents need to love their children equally and agree on how to bring them up. The quarrels between Jacob and Esau were a result of the parents not working together in raising their children This serves as a very good lesson to parents who favour one child over another, It destroys the family. The mother, Rebekah, favoured the younger son, Jacob, and schemed with him to deceive his father so that he could receive his father's blessing instead of his older brother Esau. As a result, the family was torn apart. God intervened in the conflict, but it cost Jacob many years of hard servitude, and it cost Isaac the love of his family and the company of his son. God will never fail despite our wrangles and sin, but those concerned will pay a heavy price.

Our heavenly Father we thank you Lord for bringing us into November, as we want to hear your word tonight teach us from above, and speak through our teacher tonight. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for in Jesus' name have we prayed Amen

Our topic for this weekend is FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION pray God helps me to scratch this enough;...Forgiveness on its own is the title of many Books. I am very sure we are all familiar with the maxim: “To err is human, to forgive is divine.”

Reconciliation is even trickier than forgiveness because nobody can reconcile without forgiving any offense or event that led to being hurt.

 So, I will be splitting the topic into two. Forgiveness and Reconciliation. And as we will be discussing the Biblical side of this, the human side will also pop in at some point.

 We start with FORGIVENESS

We will view forgiveness under the following subheadings:

1. What is Forgiveness?

2. Offences before Forgiveness.

3. Why do we have to Forgive?

4. Effects of Not Forgiving Offences.

5. How do I Practice Forgiveness?

6. What if I find it Difficult to Forgive?

What is Forgiveness?

 Forgiveness is different things to different people. I have my version of the word *forgiveness*, all of us have different versions of it, but in general, it involves intentionally or deliberately letting go of resentment, anger, or at the extreme, hatred. Forgiveness is letting go of an inflicted pain, trauma, resentment, anger, or hatred towards someone who has offended, wronged, or hurt us.  Forgiveness comes as a deliberate and conscious decision to release negative thoughts and feelings, grudges, bitterness, and the choice to move forward, even though the other person may not or does not deserve our forgiveness. In the ultimate decision to forgive the offenses towards us, the particular event that hurt or offended us might always be with us or we might still carry the scars, but working on forgiveness can lessen that event's grip on us. It can help us make peace with that scar (physical or emotional) and in the long run, it will help us break free from the control or influence the person who harmed or offended us, exerts on us.

 You know, if you don’t forgive or you find it difficult to forgive what someone did to you, whenever you see the person who hurt you, even though you’ve been very happy and filled with joy moments earlier, your countenance will change and your mood will get soiled and soured. In the case of Haman and Mordecai, in Esther 5:9 "So Haman went out that day joyful and with a glad heart; but when Haman saw Mordecai in the king’s gate, and that he did not stand or tremble before him, he was filled with indignation against Mordecai."

Failing to forgive steals joy. Sometimes, forgiveness might even lead us to feelings of understanding, empathy, and compassion for the one who hurt us. If we forgive, we will be calm enough to see what we won't have seen while angry with the offender.  God, Who created all things, Man inclusive, always forgives us of our sins because He knows us for who we are; Psalms 103:14, " For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust". So, knowing and acknowledging that the person who offended us is also a human who is fallible and prone to mistakes, helps us to find it easier to forgive. And that is why in the Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6vs12: “and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us,”

We need God's forgiveness as much as our fellow humans need our forgiveness. All that said, forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you nor does it mean to always allow what led to the hurt or offence.  Also, it doesn't necessarily mean making up with the person who caused the harm or giving the person a platform to rinse and repeat. Just that we have to know and accept that Forgiveness brings a kind of inner peace that allows us to focus on ourselves and helps us go on with life as we choose not to allow the hurt to control our emotions, thoughts, and actions.   

Offense before Forgiveness

Romans 3:32 says: “For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God,”… this is the perpetual offense of mankind to God, and yet as He forgives us, He also wants us to forgive each other no matter how many times we are offended  Ephesians 1:7 - In Him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace. The will never be the need for forgiveness if there was never the act of offense.    

That last line led Peter to ask Jesus Christ a question as regards forgiveness... He asked Jesus how many times we can forgive a fellow human who keeps offending us, and Jesus told him “70 times 7”, which means before we take offense, that person must have offended us 490 times in a day. Now, if a human being is as devilish and mischievous as anything to offend us 490 times in a day, we are permitted to take offense and be angry! Even at that,  God still says in Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,” This is to buttress the fact that, no matter how justified our anger or feeling of being offended is, we will still need to forgive and let go.

 Why do we have to forgive?

 Matthew 18vs21-22, Biblically, we are required to forgive our brethren 490 times a day. Continuing in Ephesians 4 32, God said: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you”. The word FORGIVING is a continuous verb, and that means no matter the number of times, we must continue to forgive. Letting go of offenses, grudges, and bitterness can lead to improved health and general peace of mind.

 If we fully practice the act of Forgiveness, that will surely lead to:

• Healthier relationships with God and with men.

• Improved mental health giving stable and clear mind.

• Less anxiety, stress, hostility, and no transfer of aggression towards those undeserving of such.

• Lesser proximity to depression.

• Normal blood pressure.

• Medically, it will help us build a stronger immune system.

• Improves the health of the heart and the blood vessels.

• Improves our self-esteem, and self-worth and helps build emotional control over anger.

What are the effects of not Forgiving Offences?  

The effects of finding it difficult to forgive are first and foremost having a very dark heart and a face that will always be squeezed in anger;...remember it takes 17 muscles to smile and 42 muscles to frown. So, if you struggle with forgiving those who hurt you, you might:

• Bring anger and bitterness into new relationships and experiences.

• Become so wrapped up in the trauma of the offense that you can't enjoy the present.

• Become depressed, irritable, or anxious.

• Easily transfer aggression towards the closest person.

• Feel very ill-at-ease spiritually.

• Lose valuable and progressively beneficial connections with others.

How do I Practice Forgiveness?      

We should know that Forgiveness is a willful commitment to change. It takes practice, conscious efforts, and deliberate attempts to act on forgiving people.

 To learn how to forgive, you will have to:

1. Recognize the value of forgiveness and how it can improve your life.

2. Identify what needs healing and who you want to forgive.

3. Join a support group or meet with a counselor if needed.

4. Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you, analyze how those emotions affected your behavior, and then work to release them. On this particular one, DO NOT let your heart deceive you that you weren’t offended.

5. Choose to forgive anybody who has offended and will offend you.

6. Neutralise the control and power that the offending person and situation have had in your life.

Forgive yourself.

 The act of forgiving includes forgiving yourself, this is the bedrock of trying to practice forgiveness with any other person. For instance, if your spouse had an affair, recognize that the affair is not a reflection of your worth, or if someone cheated you financially, look beyond the financial loss.

 Forgive deeply.

 Simply forgiving someone because you think you have no other alternative or because you think God requires it may be enough to bring some healing, it may end up hurting you more than the initial offense. In reality, people whose forgiveness came in part from understanding that no one is perfect were able to resume a normal relationship with the other person, even if that person never apologized. Those who only forgave to salvage the relationship wound up having a worse relationship with the person who offended them or with another person after that due to the underlying traumatic effect. Despite all we've said above, trying to forgive can still be difficult.

"What if I find it Difficult to Forgive?"

Humanly speaking, forgiveness can be hard o, especially if the person who hurt you is adamant to accept hurting or offending you or the person is acting the victim and blaming you for whatever happened. So, if and when you find yourself in a situation like this, first:

1. Practice empathy. Try seeing the situation from the other person's point of view. Regardless if you are very sure to be the person who is right and who was offended. Sometimes the *6* we see is the *9* another person sees, and our *3* might be *E* to others.

2. Ask yourself about the circumstances that may have led the other person to behave in such a way. Try to check whatever could have triggered the offending act.

3. Reflect on times when others have forgiven you.

4. Talk with spiritually sound and ethically balanced elders or someone you've found to be wise and compassionate, such as a spiritual leader, a mental health provider, or an impartial loved one or friend.

5. Be aware that forgiveness is a process. Even small hurts may need to be revisited and forgiven again and again.

6. And lastly, remember humans will always be humans, and no matter what, people can do anything in their minute of madness and their ego will never allow them to apologize for their misbehaviors.

RECONCILIATION

Reconciliation is the act or practice of trying to mend a broken down relationship, communication, or way of acting previously that was warm, affable, and calm with someone we hold dear or in high regard. Forgiveness is the key, the lock, and the doorway to Reconciliation.

 Although not all forgiveness will lead to reconciliation with the person who offended us, then all forgiveness will lead to us reconciling within ourselves AND with the event that happened. If the hurtful event involved someone whose relationship we value, for example married couple or a family, forgiveness may lead to reconciliation, gradually or ultimately. But, in all sincerity and humanly speaking, this isn't always the case. And that is why we will always need God and the help of the Holy Spirit when trying to forgive and reconcile fully. 

Reconciliation might not always work in some situations. For example: Reconciliation might be impossible if the offender has died or is unwilling to communicate with you. In other cases, reconciliation might not be appropriate. Still, forgiveness is possible — even if reconciliation isn't.

 What if the person I'm forgiving and what to reconcile with doesn't change?

 Another reason reconciliation might not always work is if the other person isn’t willing to change and stop committing the offense. In this situation, our reconciliation will be about focusing on what we can control in the present and what to do to minimize a repeat of the effect of the offense in the future. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. 

Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to have in your life and help you reconcile with yourself and with God. And with time, if the offender knows you are no longer offended, such a person might come fully around to reconcile with himself/herself and ultimately with you. And lastly, as I round up... We always talk about forgiving others and trying to reconcile with them...

What if we are the one who needs to forgive ourselves and reconcile with ourselves?

 This last question is for many in the older generation due to secret sins and misdemeanors .. but for the younger generation, Gen Z and Gen whatever may come after them, many will have to battle with secret and open misdemeanors.

 Class of Body Positivities and I must make money by any means going into this, the first step is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs you've done in the past and how they have affected others.

 Secondly, DO NOT judge yourself too harshly. If you're truly sorry for something you've said or done and want forgiveness, consider reaching out to those you've harmed. Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret. Ask for forgiveness without making excuses. We should note that we can't force someone to forgive us. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time, and remember, forgiveness is a process and reconciliation may happen ONCE forgiveness is complete, AND IT MAY NOT HAPPEN, but definitely PEACE will happen.

 Either way, whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy, and respect.

 We are all humans, we will always offend each other, let us learn to forgive.

 Let go of the offense, hurt, or harm, and let God fill your heart and soul with His peace that passes all understanding...

I am trusting God that this session will not last just this night but that there will be a transformation in every aching area of every home here resulting from the encounter you will have with Jesus. This is a very wide topic which I will categorize to enable me to go around every area as much as possible. To ensure effective address, there are declarations I will make, you as the recipient will pray on your peculiar case and then I will summarize some action steps you need to take to establish or sustain the healing.

 Healing is possible for every home here. Please believe this so you don’t miss out. How do I know? In fact, more available is healing in store for every home yet to be established here. The Bible says in Luke 5:17, ” And it came to pass on a certain day, as he was teaching, that there were Pharisees and doctors of the law sitting by, which were come out of every town of Galilee, and Judaea, and Jerusalem: and the power of the Lord was present to heal them.” - Luke 5:17 (KJV). There are healing groups I want to quickly break us into and cases God will address.

Group 1: Perhaps you think your case is impossible, God asked through Jeremiah, is there anything too hard for me? God answered through Gabriel, for with God, nothing shall be impossible. Nathaniel asked - Can anything good come out of Bethlehem? He was told, just as I am telling you - Come and see!

Group 2: You know God can heal this home but you are not keen to see it. O weary soul, receive strength. Come, drink from the fountain that can make you whole. <This message was edited>

Group 3: You believe in God but are not sure if He will help you in this matter. Oh Father, please help this unbelief.

Group 4: Things have gone so bad, that you are not ready to calculate God, who caused it is not your concern, all you know is that you need help badly and like right now. I hear such hearts saying like the leper, *“If you will, you can heal me. And Jesus said, “I will, be healed.”* Matt. 8:2-3.

Group 5: Those who know that the family is a catastrophe needing help but are not ready to bring it to God. In other words, this group is a hopeless case that they have decided to bear with till they become independent and go far away from them. I hear God say, *We are revisiting that family.”*

There is hope for this tree you just want to avoid by all means. This hope may be mainly because of your spouse or children when they visit in years to come. God is visiting them from now.

 Brethren, I hear God say healing has begun and I don’t think I have started. Well, however, the Holy Spirit chooses to move, I concur, I am just a messenger. 

So He says healing has begun, you will not see the rain or the wind but the valley will be filled with water (2 Kings 3:17). However, you are the one to make the ditches and I will tell you how to go about it when that time comes (vs 16).

 Some families have at least one member experiencing some critical challenge which could be a health crisis, spiritual, or financial instability, reproductive in nature, or a recalcitrant child causing problems in or around the hood, and this drains the family. Every time it occurs or you remember it, you agonize, the torrent is just tiring. This is Case 1.

 Some have an important member missing. This is Case 2. Absentee, lazy, irresponsible, and/or negligent fathers/mothers come in this category.  Also, some ache because of the spouse’s work distance and the disadvantage it brings. This distance issue can be combined with the personality profile in Case 3 to give a hurtful experience. All these cases above will be addressed, however, Case 3 is what I will base this session on - *addressing the foundation of families - the husband and wife.*

There is bound to be disagreements between couples, but this is not what I am sent to address. I am directed to address ideology-based differences causing tension between couples where one partner has built concepts that may sound true but don’t work with you and is unwilling to listen or adjust. They could be ideas from trending social media posts or influencers that don’t align with the scripture. Such a partner could be living on fickle motivational quotes or unrealistic peer group advice in which s/he masks his/her flaw that should be dealt with and this kills off the light of affection between you two. You might have married as unbelievers before the light of God shined on your path and so there could be some troubles arising in the home from that religious background needing attention.  And then, still in Case 3 is one partner enjoying parasitic fulfillment. Parasitic at the expense of the partner and worse is that s/he doesn’t care about the host.  Perhaps you are now helpless in handling your partner regarding patterns of behavior, conflict resolution, domestic tantrums, identity crises, executing the blueprint received in building your home, etc.

Let me highlight here, as someone has missed it, that up to this point, there is nothing imaginable that you have not done to help the matter. This presupposes that you have prayed, talked to the person/partner about it at different times and in different ways, and maybe even met someone to counsel or assist in the matter. Still, no result. For all these cases, this is where you will press God hard in prayers with all the pain and tears. There was a time in the life of this young prophet called Isaiah when something remarkable happened to him that changed his life and ministry for the rest of his life. He knew God personally but what happened was on another level. He wrote by himself saying, *“In the year that king Uzziah died, I saw also the Lord (Isa. 6:1).”*

No one preached to him before he saw his flaw and changed and then help came from the altar in heaven. I am not teaching this verse, please just pray in your pain. *Say - Father, show Yourself to me, let my spouse see You.*  When that spouse sees God, even you will be shocked at the result. This also applies to the other cases cited above, pray for them - let this person see You. 

 I counsel that you find a quiet place where you can pray alone as you read this.

They may not be able to say they saw God before they began changing, and they may not be able to say when the change began but you will know that God answered this prayer. God may not show Himself through vision like the case we just read but one thing is certain - the word of God will hit that person. The word of God is efficient in dealing with whatever stuff the person is made of. The word is like fire and hammer (Jer. 23:29). That same word of God is quick, powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart (Heb 4:12, KJV). This is not a prayer you pray once and forget. It should go on for days, weeks, months, as often as the knotty issue arises again till the change desired is seen.

Now, how do you make the valley of this relationship full of ditches while God is working to fill them with water without the sign of the wind and the rain? If you are the one suffering as the husband, *keep loving your wife*. 

Don’t look at the kickbacks, the controversy she raises every time, the twisted information about you that she shares around with family and friends, the misinterpretations, criticisms, and judgments she fires at you.  All of them like whipping on your back, with the agony within, bend and keep making the ditches by loving her. It is not easy, even if you will drop points or reduce your pace. I understand but remember you need water and God can be trusted because He said He will fill the ditches with water. 

So, cry if you must but get back to making those ditches. *Yes, men also cry very strong men weep and groan.* For you to know you are doing it correctly, the Holy Spirit will quietly comfort you and caution you when you act or react wrongly. Please, don’t question or rationalize His words, just adjust and keep making those ditches. The more you love her correctly, the worse she may be getting, meaning you are making the ditches but are not seeing the water. Don’t be discouraged brother, continue. Remember, God said clearly and I want to scream so that the loudness can overshadow your hurts and discouragement - YOU WILL NOT SEE THE WIND OR THE RAIN!!!!!! Water is coming, but you don’t know when it will come, leave the “how” to me, I (God) will fill the ditches but YOU WILL NOT SEE THE WIND OR THE RAIN!!! And so, with the hurts, the tears (both the water from your eyes and the pulling apart in your heart), the frustrations, the lack of reciprocation, keep making those ditches.  And if you are the wife experiencing the dryness we are talking about, *your role is to keep making those ditches too by submitting to your husband.* Submission is what He says, not cooperation or obedience. 

I will deliberately not dwell on this but from the explanation for the husband above, do your version too, not according to the world’s view or modern-day counsel but based on the sound rule of God in the Bible. I am sorry, I won’t take questions in this regard. The Holy Spirit will explain it to you. It is easy to point to men to love their wives but when it comes to submission, then it appears you have struck a painful nerve. If you don’t want to submit, no problem but this is your part to play before God will bring the water you desire. I am only a messenger but we all have direct access to God, so you can take the matter of submission to Him.

However, if you are sincere and know that you need help, counsel, clarification, or someone safe to pour your heart into like a trusted friend on this journey or a mentor, please pray God to direct someone to you. 

I had already finished this session with God and was going about my day when the Holy Spirit brought up a special mention which I’ll call Case 4 - those who are due for marriage but are still unmarried.

I noted this somewhere in my mind while one part of me was asking within - how does this case relate to homes and thus need healing? I thought I was the only one in the room (mind) talking to myself but then I immediately heard, “Two nations are in your womb…” That was about Jacob and Esau. Homes beget nations. Homes stand on two legs. That single brother or sister is yet to be married but due is an important leg waiting to be settled. I filed this away again while I continued with my day’s tasks. Minutes later, the Holy Spirit asked in a gentle voice laden with compassion I can’t compare, ” Will you not add this?” (to the session note He meant) and immediately He reminded me of a song I knew for a long time but which didn’t come to mind at all through the months I’ve been meditating on this topic above.

As I close, this is what I’ll sing as prayer and comfort to the single brothers and sisters here who are ready for marriage but are unmarried.  As much as it is very good that you’ve been adding value to yourself, progressing in career/ministry, enjoying a walk with God in your singleness, etc., the fact that age is flying while you remain unmarried appears to be heartbreaking, wounded side of you which needs healing. Only marriage and entering it rightly can heal this side of you but for whatever reason, time becomes an enemy and God seems to be on leave. I have been sent to you. Healing Rain. If you can get the original version by Michael W. Smith, the better.

I trust that God has met us all in one way or another. I pray that your healing will be complete sooner than you think. I prophesy that because you have been part of this session, as this year goes to an end, God will work for you such that you enjoy it in a new, refreshing, and fulfilling way as a sign that God has sent me. It humbles me knowing that along the line, I wanted to decline this topic by giving it to someone else to take but God told me something that made me rethink.

Thank you Father for this help in season. Please help us to continue aligning with You to the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. We shall praise You world without end. Amen.