Facilitator: Dr. Nihinlola E. Olowe

Month Theme: Love Again

Text: Song of Solomon 1–2

August 1st 2026

My people, loving again does not mean forgetting what happened. It means refusing to allow what happened to permanently define how you love.

Tonight we're talking about something many people struggle with but don't always say out loud. Which is 

loving again

For some singles, loving again may mean opening your heart after heartbreak or disappointment.

 For someone married, it may mean learning to love your spouse again after conflict, betrayal, emotional distance, disappointment, or simply years of doing life together.

Love can bring both beautiful and painful experiences

WHAT DOES SONG OF SOLOMON SHOW US ABOUT LOVE?

Song of Songs 1:2-3

[2]Kiss me and kiss me again, 

for your love is sweeter than wine.

[3]How fragrant your cologne; 

your name is like its spreading fragrance. 

No wonder all the young women love you!

Song of Songs 1:7

[7]Tell me, my love, where are you leading your flock today? 

Where will you rest your sheep at noon? 

For why should I wander like a prostitute 

among your friends and their flocks?

Song of Songs 2:3-4

[3]Like the finest apple tree in the orchard 

is my lover among other young men. 

I sit in his delightful shade 

and taste his delicious fruit.

[4]He escorts me to the banquet hall; 

it’s obvious how much he loves me.

From Song of Songs 1 and 2, we can see that love can be expressed openly. The woman isn't ashamed to express affection and desire.

Love isn't merely:

 “I care about you.”

It also involves communication, affection, appreciation and intentionality.

Our married folks: 

When was the last time you intentionally told your spouse something you genuinely appreciate about them?

Singles 🗣️

What qualities would make you feel emotionally safe enough to open your heart to someone?

LOVE AGAIN DOESN'T MEAN LOVING THE SAME WAY

Sometimes after heartbreak, betrayal or disappointment, we make a decision: ‘Never again.’ But sometimes what we're really saying is, I never want to feel that pain again.

That's understandable. But healing should not make us emotionally unavailable.

There is a difference between loving again and trusting blindly again.

There is a difference between: Having boundaries and building walls.

There is a difference between:

Learning from the past and living in the past.

What is the difference between having healthy boundaries and having walls around your heart?

A boundary says, ‘You need to treat me well to have access to me.’ A wall says, ‘Nobody gets access to me because I don't want to be hurt again.’

One of the dangers of unresolved heartbreak is that we can begin responding to today's person based on yesterday's person's behaviour.

For example 

A previous partner cheated and you say I don't trust anybody or Men and women are scum

A previous partner abandoned you and in your current relationship you feel - 

“If I don't hear from him or her, they must be losing interest.”

A previous relationship was controlling and 

“Any request from your partner is control.”

A previous spouse hurt you and  you say

“I don't need anybody anymore.”

How can past relationship experiences affect the way we interpret our current relationship?

The married reading this might feel - 

I'm already married. Why are we talking about loving again?

Because sometimes you are married to someone you once loved deeply, but somewhere along the way, disappointment, routine, resentment, parenting, finances, betrayal or unresolved conflict changes the relationship.

What can make two married people stop feeling emotionally connected even when they are still together?

Some of the reasons are possibly -

👍🏻unresolved resentment

👍🏻poor communication

👍🏻lack of affection

👍🏻infidelity

👍🏻financial stress

👍🏻parenting

👍🏻neglect

👍🏻emotional exhaustion

👍🏻taking each other for granted

👍🏻lack of quality time

Loving again in marriage doesn't mean pretending the problems didn't happen. It means being willing to rebuild where rebuilding is healthy and possible.

For singles, loving again also requires wisdom. Being lonely doesn't mean every person who shows interest is your person.

What are some things we should not compromise simply because we want to be loved?

 Things like 

🫸🏻character

🫸🏻respect

🫸🏻emotional safety

🫸🏻shared values

🫸🏻faith

🫸🏻integrity

🫸🏻boundaries

🫸🏻accountability

Your desire to be loved should never become a reason to abandon your discernment.

What do you need to heal from so that you can love more healthily?

Maybe it is betrayal. Maybe abandonment. Maybe rejection. Maybe disappointment. Maybe the fear that you'll choose wrongly again.

You don't have to rush yourself into another relationship simply because you want to prove that you've moved on.

Healing is not a race.

Song of Solomon 1–2 gives us a picture of love that is affectionate, expressive, intentional and joyful. But healthy love isn't simply about finding the right person. It is also about becoming someone who can give and receive love in a healthy way.

Don't let what someone did to you become the blueprint for how you treat everyone who comes after them.

For the married:

And don't assume that because you loved each other once, you don't have to keep choosing each other.

For singles:

Don't rush into love because you're afraid of being alone. Heal, discern, and allow love to grow where there is safety, character and mutuality.

❤️ If you could give one piece of advice about love to your younger self, what would it be?

Father Lord, 

Thank you for tonight. We ask that you heal the places where love has hurt us. Give us wisdom to recognize healthy love, and the courage to set healthy boundaries in Jesus Name. Lord, give us grace to forgive where appropriate, and the capacity to love without losing ourselves in Jesus Name.

We pray that you teach married couples to choose love again and give singles wisdom as they prepare for love in Jesus Name.

 Amen.